Day 4: Life Too Fast.....Finally Home. Breathe Out!

Left Jaw Pain: 3/10

Right Jaw Pain: 7/10

Hip Pain: 4/10

Inconvenience factor: 10/10

I think I've hit maximum swelling!

Today was the day I was due to head home. I've taken awhile to write about this day. I have been trying to keep this blog fairly light hearted and this day just does not fit. I still can not find the shiny side of that day. Apart from the fact I did, in the end, make it home.

I remember waking and feeling tired and overwhelmed and completely over being in hospital. The hot, the cold, the constant movement of people, the perpetual squeezing of my arm in a blood pressure wrap and sticking of thermometers in my ear, the lights and sounds, the shouting angry people, the sore hurting people, the food they kept sending me that I could not eat, the pain in jaw, my ear, my arm, my hand, my hip.....it all just was too much. I yearned to run away, retreat somewhere comfortable, familiar and quiet and lick my wounds alone.

After yet another glass of juice for breakfast, one of the surgical team arrived, had a look at my head, commented on the extensive swelling and said "You should be right to go home today. But I need to send you for an X-Ray. When I've had a look at it, I'll let you know if you can go or not". This was received with a mix of emotions. As much as I wanted to get out of this place, the lesson I learnt the day before was still in the forefront of my mind. Was it a good idea to go home and be all alone? Doubt crept in. I wanted to cry.

My friend (and planned lift home) arrived around 10:30am. She bounced around, packed up all my things ready to exit the second we got the nod. It lifted my mood....Home is definitely where I needed to be. An hour later, we were still sitting there, slightly less bouncy and beginning to wondering when this X-ray was going to take place. Just before midday, an orderly arrived with a wheelchair. Let's get the show on the road! I gingerly climbed into the chair and settled in. As we took off out of the room, my senses were immediately assaulted by the bright flashing of lights, the speed of the corridor rushing past, the sounds crashing all around me. I felt nauseous again! What the heck? It seemed that my senses had gone into hypersensitive mode. My head was freaking out and it took all my power not yet out "STOP" to the orderly. I closed my eyes and focused inwards. 

Shortly, we arrived at a holding bay! Yup, they line up the beds and chairs with the sick people in them, facing each other, 3 each side to wait. I didn't know where to look. I didn't want to look. It was so noisy and bright. I went inwards again. Damn this chair is really hurting my hip. At one point one of the nurses came over and asked if I was okay. I said I would be, I'd only just gotten my last pain killer and it had not kicked in quite yet (which was true). I don't really know what she would have done if I'd said no. I wasn't going to say no. I just wanted to get the hell out of here, the hospital but firstly, this damn waiting bay. I am not sure but I think I sat there for a good 30 minutes before they took me in. 

My hip was giving me proper jip by then so when given the option to stand for the first X-ray, I took it. There were two ladies taking the X-rays. The first lovely lady instructed me to stand there, press your forehead on here, bite on this, hold here. Biting the 'thing' was near impossible but I shut up and tried anyway. Just get this done! The other lady I am going to assume was in training. Either that or she is an idiot. I know that is harsh but if someone has just had double jaw surgery 4 days earlier, you DO NOT GRAB their face and try to move it when they don't put it quite where you want it! I squeezed out "Gentle, gentle" and closed my eyes.  That familiar hot, cold pain started creeping up the side of my face. They exited the room to take the X-ray. I spent all of my energy focusing on quietening the pain and staying still....I didn't want to pass out or have to have a reshoot. When they returned I indicated that I needed the wheelchair. One more X-ray and I was free. The 'trainee' wheeled me through to the next room, of course bumping into the cupboard and door on the way through. I stayed in the chair for the next X-ray. Then it was back to the waiting bay. I felt like a dog at the RSPCA. Every time, an orderly turned up I would beg, "Please, PLEASE, be here for me!" Eye contact and a smile just increased the glimmer of hope. In the end I couldn't handle the disappointment anymore and closed my eyes. Finally, I was rescued and returned to my bed in the ward, over an hour after I had left. The relief to be back in my bed and the look of concern from my friend was enough to send me into tears, the first and only I have shed during recovery.

At least now, we were one step closer. I think the call from the surgeon came somewhere around 2pm, saying that I was good to go home!!!! GIDDY UP! All I needed before leaving was the drugs from the pharmacy. The pharmacist prescribed me antibiotics, liquid panadol and liquid oxycodene and said he'd fax it off to the hospital chemist. Then the bombshell "Your drugs should be here in 1 and half to 2 hours". 
Pardon? Did you just say 1.5 to 2 hours??!?! But my ride home has to pick up her son at 3:30pm. She can't wait until 4pm to take me home! The pharmacist very kindly offered to ring a few chemist on our route to see if they could fill the script. Unfortunately, Oxycodene is a registered drug and isn't often dispensed from normal chemist, let alone in the liquid form. No Joy! I was just going to have to wait it out. My friend left and I sat there on top of the bed for 2 hours. Waiting to go to my refuge. The ultimate final test.

Thankfully, I have many, many amazing friends and was able to ring in another chariot home. I finally arrived at 5:30pm. Utterly drained, both physically and mentally. I remember sitting on my couch feeling small and overwhelmed. My friends put me under their wing and looked after me in true tag team style, for which I will forever be grateful. One even stayed over night with me. 

I had completely underestimated how ordinary I would feel when I got home from hospital. To have two angels floating around, making sure I was alright, made everything okay. 
Thank you!